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Spontaneous Kundalini Awakening and Shaktipat

9 April 2012 16 Comments Print article Print article

My first experience with kundalini was when I was sixteen years old; I was experimenting with different techniques and all of a sudden, I felt a liquid fire in the perineum.  I saw a column of energy ascending and opening the chakras—although at the time I didn’t know what chakras were—but the energy was opening fountains of light at different levels and each level brought a different kind of experience.  Near the upper part of my body my inner sight opened and I saw deities with six hands and saw my astral bodies. When the energy reached the point of my fontanelle, I experienced indescribable bliss, but it didn’t stop there. The column of light went out of my head and into two waterfalls falling back on my astral bodies and nourishing them with liquid light. My hands went into mudra postures; I felt electricity in my fingers and I played with manipulating prana, directing the energy back to my body. When I folded my hands with fingertips together I received answers for any question I asked. The rest of that night I spent in indescribable bliss. A week later I saw a book with a drawing of a yogi with energy flowing and chakras opening; I recognized what I had experienced and found the conceptual tools for understanding it. I wanted to share the experience, but nobody around me understood.

That is when my interest in yoga began. I did hatha yoga and various types of meditation for the next couple of years.  I made an altar to Shiva and began to pray in Sanskrit. However, I could not get  back to the experience that I was craving with my whole soul. None of the teachers I met had had the experience I was seeking. They could teach me techniques, but warned me about playing with kundalini.  I did not listen and did moolabhanda, kumbhak, and bhastrika. I experimented with sacred techniques, and this led to my second experience with spontaneous kundalini awakening. I experienced the development of consciousness on this planet in both general and personal terms, from stone to animals—which are completely driven by animal experience and unable to make a conscious choice between good and bad—and finally to the human form. On a personal level, I experienced that when I finally received a human body I felt it as an immense gift because we have intellect, we can distinguish between good and bad and are free to make choices.  But I saw that I spent lifetimes wasting my human bodies.

Suddenly the whole process of death and being reborn started to accelerate, death-birth-death-birth over and over again, and out of this pattern a great thought arose: how do I get out of it? This thought seemed to prevail in my last human births, and it was either the last thing I thought in my previous life or was the samskara that came into this life. All of a sudden in this kundalini experience I saw myself sitting in lotus position and burning with the desire, how to get out of this? After this experience, my search began again. I knew I needed a guru and needed a mantra. But again I searched in vain; nobody I met could explain these experiences to me or take me to the heights I was seeking.

So at the age of 22, I decided to leave the spiritual path. For the next nine years, I indulged in various kinds of pleasures, everything the world can offer in terms of temptation. I found fleeting moments of happiness and satisfaction, but I was on the road to perdition. During all those years a subtle craving to get back to my spiritual personality was persistent, but I did not heed this call.

Every worldly dream I had during seven years came true in one year, in 2009. And at that point, I became the most unhappy person on this earth.

I achieved worldly success and everything I wanted. Every worldly dream I had during seven years came true in one year, in 2009. And at that point, I became the most unhappy person on this earth. I spent 2009 in complete unhappiness, depression and frustration. I wanted to figure out what went wrong and sought the help of psychologists, but they couldn’t help me.  I was just unhappy.

Then kundalini forced me with great urgency to the path of kundalini maha yoga and Shri Anandi Ma.  The Kali energy spent all of 2010 and most of 2011 destroying everything in my life that was an obstacle to this path. It gnawed at me, crushing and destroying any attempt I made to attach to anything. My sense of self was disintegrating and I didn’t know what my future self would be, so I attempted to revive old personality characteristics from the past, but any attempt I made to do was in vain. There was nothing stable that I could hold on to.

I perceive this period as a very important ego-crushing period that readied me for the next stage of my development, the shift from Kali to Durga, the loving Mother.  I was so desperate that I made the biggest decision of my life: I risked my job and livelihood to try to find someone who could help me.  I felt with my whole being that I had to seek external help, and that is how I met Tarak, one of Ma’s students, in Prague, who said to me, I think I know someone who can help you.

Tarak was the first person to say that to me. He gave me the Hanuman Chalisa and Mantras for Releasing Fear cd’s, and I believed with all my heart that my condition could improve.  The Hanuman Chalisa is in fact what I perceive as the beginning of my path back.  I used these techniques from the lineage to endure the period until I was able to receive shaktipat in absentia.

The process of preparing to receive shaktipat in absentia had many twists and turns, but after three months the date was set.  On that day in mid-December 2011, I didn’t feel anything. I was thinking, did I do something wrong? But I said, I’ll do the Bhut Shuddhi mantra for ten days, at 9:00 PM in my busy schedule. From the first day, I enjoyed every single syllable of the mantra. It was as if I had been given a manual on how to fly a plane, because each syllable gave direction to the energy. I absolutely enjoyed the practice, and during the repetition nothing so dramatic as I had experienced in the past happened. Yet I went out to a business gathering after that first practice and found myself in a different plane of consciousness, stepping into the room feeling very powerful and very light at the same time. This blend of energy attracted people to me and I was the center of attention until 4:00 in the morning. So I said, okay, it’s not as dramatic as I thought it was going to be, but it’s working somehow.

I also started to practice the guru mantra. As soon as I began the practice, the image I got was of someone holding a cobra snake in such a way that you feel its power but you know it cannot hurt you. So the shaktipat is working, I thought! With each mala bead I felt a powerful but mild upsurge of the energy I had known from before, but unlike before I felt wrapped in protection, like being in a cocoon of sweet milk. I couldn’t believe how pleasant it was, as if someone had fulfilled my long, long forgotten dream. I became completely addicted to the guru mantra, and I knew the Guru had fixed me. I felt immense, tremendous relief and gratitude beyond words, and I started to wonder, who can be so powerful that she can contain my kundalini from a distance, when nobody I’ve known throughout my life could get me there? So the desire to meet Ma in person was planted. As soon as I finished my 10 days of the bhut shuddhi mantra, I made arrangements to go to Nikora in early January 2012, to meet a being of such power.

I made this decision blindly because I wanted to see Ma. The rest didn’t matter to me, but once I got to Nikora, I thought, what am I going to be doing for the next twelve days? I was in a predicament with a lot of free time and only two fellow disciples who spoke English. One of those disciples, Prema, told me she was doing anusthan, and this word caught my attention. Out of the blue I decided to do an anusthan and consulted with Ma, who said yes because there were still ten days until my departure. I was a bit appalled by the number of repetitions of the guru mantra that Ma and Bapuji suggested I do each day, thinking in my mind, I don’t want to wear myself out this soon after shaktipat! But I saw Prema’s resolution and commitment and I wondered, what is she doing all day in the anusthan cave? So I decided to do my anusthan in the garden near her cave.

I did ten malas and throughout the whole repetition I felt as if I were sitting in a column of nuclear energy, but despite all the dramatic experience and power, I felt fully protected. Actually during practice I feel my ego shut down for a while and Ma or Guruji actually did the practice.

At the first mala I did of the guru mantra, I felt as if someone switched on a nuclear power plant within me. I was telling myself my body and mind simply cannot endure this tremendous flow of energy. It was unlike anything I had experienced before. But I said to myself, I’m going to stay in this asana and keep on repeating. I did ten malas and throughout the whole repetition I felt as if I were sitting in a column of nuclear energy, but despite all the dramatic experience and power, I felt fully protected. Actually during practice I feel my ego shut down for a while and Ma or Guruji actually did the practice. Over several days I started to enjoy my anusthan, and I started to understand why yogis shut themselves in caves, depriving the senses and using special techniques to have such experiences.

One night I decided to do my japa next to the temple. After maybe 20 repetitions of the guru mantra, I felt as if all the valves in my body opened at the same time. All the energy that was accumulated in the lower chakras suddenly, with great soaring, went up and lifted me from my body. I transcended the body and felt my boundaries change. Although the protection was there all the time, I started to feel a bit uncomfortable and my anxiety pulled me back from the experience. I understood why yogis talk about kundalini as nuclear power or electricity; I felt that nothing in this world is so powerful as this energy. To ground myself I decided to write a couple of emails, and when I entered that room I felt myself in a different kind of consciousness, blessed but also feeling my own impurities pulling me back to ego consciousness, to the body-mind, and to the concept of who I think I am. At that very moment I felt the words of Guruji to be completely true, that only if all the nadis are purified completely can kundalini travel to the sahasrar and the person can reach samadhi. I realized the importance of purity on this path.

I have received great pleasure from being in Ma’s physical presence, but I do not feel it is so important as meeting her in the practice. In the practice, I feel her shakti merged with mine, blazing at me.

I have received great pleasure from being in Ma’s physical presence, but I do not feel it is so important as meeting her in the practice. In the practice, I feel her shakti merged with mine, blazing at me. I feel her presence with every single bead of my mala. When we have darshan, I have so many questions of an esoteric nature, but instead we talk about eggplants and politics!  Is this the woman who can manifest Ma Kali? She is sitting there sipping her tea! It’s mindblowing to see her sitting there in person, and then to meet her energetically in the practice.

The difference between spontaneous kundalini awakening and shaktipat is clear to me. In spontaneous kundalini awakening, the energy is trying to push its way to the sahasrar, but it does that by taking you anywhere at any time and at any cost to your comfort. With shaktipat, I feel the tremendous shakti energy only when I sit to practice the guru mantra. The spontaneous kundalini awakening was out of my control, but now the guru mantra is like a trigger. I know that if I do the guru mantra, the energy awakens with force, and as soon as I stop doing the guru mantra, the energy goes back. This is the major and important difference, the level of control and protection. I get my period of cleansing with the guru mantra, and there is an agreement with Ma that only then is the energy superactive. So I do the practice, and then the energy recedes and I go about my day.

The spontaneous kundalini awakening completely destroyed my routines of life, my eating and sleeping patterns, my relationships and my work.  In my case, the guru mantra and shakti work together, and during the period of malas I do, they are working at full force as if I have handed in my ticket and boarded the jet aircraft; but as soon as I want to deplane, I can.

Marko

Nikora, India

January 2012

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Editor’s Note:

About Disciples’ Experiences

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16 Comments »

  • Yona Jyotiananda said:

    Hello Dear Marko;

    What beautiful experiences you have had! I really enjoyed reading your story very much.

    Ma’s abilities far exceed even what you have enjoyed thus far. I am forever in her debt myself.

    Thank you very much for your wonderful post.

    May God Shower Endless Love, Joy, and Blessings Upon You and Your Family Always, Rev. Yona Jyotiananda.

  • B said:

    Thanks for sharing. I had some spontaneous kundalini activity about 10 years ago that ended me up in a mental hospital. I feel safe again under Ma’s guidance to at least begin approaching stronger practices, but have been a little hesitant because of the past. This is a definite inspiration! Thank you.

  • Nubia Krug said:

    I love you story I just read it and I cant stop crying… There are so many things that are happening to me too. I keep struggling every day. I want to mediate for long periods of time and keep flying and enjoying the visions and the warm energy of Guruyi, but is also difficult to endure the cleansing of the nadis, that sometimes can be very painful… So the real challenge is to live this dual life and cope with the daily plain routine. Nubia.

  • Matei said:

    Hey Marcus!!! nice surprise to read your story here!! A story I know so well… I always told you, you should write down a book of your personal story, I will buy it! 😉 Thank you very much for beeing my friend for so many many years. You always was, and you still are my inspiration.
    Un abrazo fuerte

  • Marko said:

    Hi B,

    thank you for your comments. I am interested in listening to YOUR story if you would like to. To share what we have had in common and to avoid pitfalls of the path. Is that possible? I am again going through a very difficult time.

    Sitaram

    Marko

  • Susan/Ganga said:

    Hi, Marko! what a phenomenal story. thank you for sharing.
    I am trying to find a way to get to West Coast Guru Purnima! But air fare is so pricey!!
    when you go to Orbitz, etc, the fares are not really so cheap!
    I might have to settle for Maha Samahdi in August, instead!
    It would be good to meet you if I am able to make it.
    I am reading one of my favorite books, Kundalini Rising!
    It is inspiring!!

  • Michael Schmidt said:

    Marko,

    Hey it’s Michael (Prakash) we were in Nikora together. Send me an email.

    chiefmichael@mac.com

    Michael Schmidt

  • binod said:

    i feel happy about u becoz u could overcome ur problems.but can u tel me if kundalini is arosed by yoga,then it is not properly channelised due to impurities of the nadi?can u tel me dear,a guru mantra is necessary before the practice or after the awakening of kundalini?do yoga and pranayam cannot help! if i make the practice by yoga and pranaya,the shakti is not channalised properly?i m really interested on it.but after listening,i am very much scared about the experiences.i am practicing yoga andpranayam regular basis.but what can i do now?if u give the answar,thn i ll be pleased.i am very much happy that u hv met the god.can u pls help me or guide me?if u give me ur mail,i will be happy.

  • alaeheyne sundaranathar said:

    beautiful story 🙂

    I came across this page unexpectedly and your experience with mother Kundalini is interesting. I was in initiated into shaktipat 10 years ago at the age of 14. The guru’s grace and faith is of utmost importance until one achieves Self-realization. About the readers 🙂 , there is no need to fear the experience of Kundalini, fear exists in the mind and that is what kundalini will do, take you out of the mind ! It is always frightening at first because we are so used to identifying with the ego that leaving it is like dying. We lose a sense of ” personnal me” and awaken to the infinite self, unbounded, selfless, unconditionned and mysterious ! Love is the strength required during this journey, since love is god’s force in action, and it will take care of you untill you unite with it. I would say…don’t be afraid of being liberated from the ego 🙂 ; Much love to you all, om nama sivaya

    alaheyne sundaranathar

  • Marko said:

    Dear Binod,

    Sitaram, how are you? Sorry for replying so late, but due to the limitations of the country I am currently residing is quite difficult sometimes to check certain web pages.

    As for the answers to your questions: In fact, if Kundalini Ma arises by Her will or due to the rigorous following of certain sadhana, some experiences can certainly be terrifying, especially if due to your lifestyle your vehicle is not ready to channel the Divine Energy. However, Kundalini is Adi Shakti, the Primordial Energy that dwarfs our Ego-Mind intelligence, so by surrendering to Her everything can be solved.

    In my case for example, She was blocking by digestion system because of the cleansing that had to be done at the physical level, so for months, I could eat only fruits, nuts, freshly squeezed juices, so I followed Her instructions to a great shock of my family, co-workers and friends.

    However, I still believe as I mentioned in the article that a Sataguru, whose pran is connected to Mahapran is necessary for the proper channeling of the Energy and everyday sadhana. In fact, Mahashakti Herself and Hanumanji always directed me in the right direction ultimately to Ma and Bapuji and Shaktipat:)

    As for dualities and discrepancies between the demands of the external environment and needs of your Soul, I think all this will eventually settle. During the times of my spontaneous awakening was sometimes very difficult to keep it all-together, but after Shaktipat and thanx to Shaktipat and Hanumanji Grace I am able now to perform highly demanding and professional job in a very difficult country and combine it with my sadhana.

    To answer your questions, I do believe that Gurumantra is necessary as it burns out your samskaras and cleanse the pathways of prana, that is somehow very difficult and lenghty process if using different methods.

    Best wishes

    Sitaram,

    Marko

  • Marko said:

    Thank you Alaheyne,

    currently I am working on a story based on my second anusthan experience in Nikora this year that tackles the topics of Ego/Mind vs. Atman, dying and being reborn again and Gurubhakti. I shall publish it in a couple of days on Shaktionline, in case you are interested, you might have a look and comment.

    All the best,

    Sitaram

    Marko

  • subi said:

    A human must Read.
    (not story, but fully truthful)

    Today when I went to swagath hotel for dinner,
    I saw three, four beggars on both side of varanthas.
    I didn’t minded them at all Walked straight into hotel.
    When I was walking towards,
    An old lady was calling me,
    ‘son give something in
    name of god’
    But words of this beggars cannot melt me down.
    I ordered two thalli parcel and started waiting for it near to varantha of hotel. Mind was great after meditation so eyes were not searching for anything special.
    Full of peace inside and eyes were wide open with thoughtless mind.
    Cold wind was blowing over me. infront of me,
    A car came and stopped,
    A family came out from that car and while passing they to hotel again that old lady ask them,
    “give something in name of God”.
    Opposite to that old lady,
    I saw a mother with
    2 or 2 and a half old boy.
    That boy was beating his mother with his dirty mud sticky hand with eyes full of tear.
    Mother was taking something out from her ugly bag,
    Was half of a chocolate,
    She handed it to that boy,
    with lot of love but the boy threw it towards hotel.Towards me.
    The mother apologized me with action without talk.
    I said its ok in showing hand.
    Then that boy came near to hotel counter and was trying to talk with that person who collect money and control counter.
    The boy could not see whats up right there in table of counter because was in high but I was seeing.
    A lot of chocolates, sweets, and all packages.
    On trying to see whats up there his mother came and took him back to varantha…
    At last my parcel came it was 130,
    Buyed two 5 rupies chocolate for him. One I kept in my pocket and other was in my hand.
    When passing through varantha
    Gave one to his mother saying,
    Give it to your son.
    After that I felt so much of relief.
    Was thinking about that decision.
    Was capturing all moments again.

    (Read again if you have doubt,
    Below this is the real matter)

    The old lady asked in named of god to give something to her as son.
    But I gave something to son
    in name of humanity seeing him as my brother? Son? Family?

    No. He was none to me.

    But I was seeing the god in him.
    The god you locate and say,
    Childrens are equal to GOD.
    The family came from that car
    May go to temple all day and may also they say the same dailog.
    Childrens are god.
    But for them,
    Their childrens are only god.
    same with all religion,
    For everyone their god are only Great God.
    You all are blind my dear beloved believrs.
    You all are bind cause of
    Religion, money,selfishness and frighteness.
    You all are just BLIND.
    Hope one day you all gonna
    find God in nothingness.

  • Ashna said:

    Marco,ur story is very fascinating.some of the ‘modern minds’ will probably find all that hard to believe.u knw, some days earlier i md an unusual dream.i was in a white realm,god ganesh and mother parvati were there.i asked where lord shiva was.they gave me a mantra,n asked me to invoke him.at that moment,i felt a snake dancing up my spine near neck area…it lookd real,cd really feel the thin snake so much that i woke up thinkng an ant was on my back.it immediately made me think of kundalini.but am not sure…what do you think?am trying to pray more regularly,hoping if its really what am thinking,i nid t do wt the goddess n god askd,to invoke my kundalini…plz giv m ur views.i dnt knw wt its all about.was it just a dream afterall?

  • abhijit guha neogi said:

    Jai Gosai , i have taken diksha from Sri Sri Swami Dijeshanando
    Saraswati Ji (sri sri bijay Krishna Goswami) in year 1990.but previously I was neglecting Ista mantra. i am chanting guru mantra from last 1 yr and i can feel
    that guru is protecting me everywhere. but he is no more in this
    material world . The problem is i want to proceed in sadhan. it’s not for
    showing people or dominate anyone. i want to awaken my kundalini.
    can you please help me?… this can assure me that EVERY SADHANA HAS SOME RESULTS.
    Nowadays it’s hard to find anyone who know the detailed procedure , real mantra and who has the siddhi . everyone talk too much but don’t have anything. I learned Rajmata Raktiya Bamat mantra, Agor mantra , Tri sakti
    from one person who claim that he has siddhi on all these mentioned and
    he has given everything to me. But whenever i try all these …..no
    feeling….no one came ….nothing happened. but he telling that
    everything is happening but i failed to understand that .

    This is real IDIOTIC situation for me.
    plz help me.
    MY mail is abhijit.guha.neogi@gmail.com and ph no : 9830771771

    plz reply.
    regards,
    AbHiJiT GuHa NeOgI

  • Joana R said:

    Dear Marko, thank you for sharing your story.
    I’m thirty and all of my life i was asking “what life is”. I don’t feel connected with this 3D world, nothing makes me happy… I’m living a sad life, always depressed, and looking for what really matters! I live in Portugal, in a small country near Spain (Europe).
    About a year ago, I awake for spiritual issues and I really need to feel the kundalini awakening. Is it something that anyone is able to experience? What do you recommend to do?
    A medium told me that I had suicide in my previous life and I carry with me this karma…
    Please, I really would like to know how to live in peace with myself, feeling joy and unconditional love…

    Thank you.
    Regards.
    JR

  • Marco said:

    NOTE: I am the comment moderator, Sue Rama, whose picture appears here. I am posting this comment for Marco who was having some trouble posting. I could not remove my photo. Sorry for any confusion!

    Dear Joana,

    Thank you for sharing your experience. Please accept my greetings and cordial wishes to you and to country of yours.

    Now coming to your questions: Yes, Kundalini awakening is the experience everybody can have, because the Energy is coiled in its dormant state in every human being. It can awakened spontaneously (my case), through rigorous spiritual discipline and experiments (I would strongly dissuade anyone using this method) or by Guru’s Grace (through a process known as Shaktipat). The last is the safest and most effective way how to arouse your Kundalini. Then, by meditations and mantra Kundalini pierces her way to the highest chakra to take you to the ultimate state that you crave for. Ultimate joy, innner peace and unconditional love. May you journey in peace!

    Marko

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